Lost My Mind

Sometimes I don’t think if I can be a success person in the future, why???  Cz I never study in serious way, I just play, imagine,  and watch a lot. I want to be a success but I cannot control my brain to think hard to find my topic for doing my research. I want to be a success person but I just think to be happy so just do what it can make me happy. Until now I just confuse about my dream, sometimes I just want to live like this, but sometimes I want to be a rich person and become a successful buisnes women. I want to go abroad, London, new york, south korea, japan, france, makkah, dubai and many countries that I want to really go there. Honestly I never think if in the future I decide English as my major in universities, cz I know I don’t really like English and don’t have skill to do that, I just want to learn and speak English fluently. But I never thought if I want to deep to learn it, especially to become an English teacher, oh it’s just a dream to me. It is what make me worried, when I in senior high school I never think seriously what kind of study that I want to really choose or take to my future.. I just keep to play, watch, and imagine. So what I worried until now is that. For now on I just study with all that I have in my self, just still lazy to deep in learn English, there is no motivation in my self, I don’t now why I become like this. I worry if I can’t finish my study, I don’t want to make my parents sad because of me, but until no I just a lazy students who just keep enjoying my life without study hard, think hard. I like a dream I just keep to imagine what I want to do in the future. I want to meet my idol, ahh I just fall in love to Krystal.. I know what I do is wrong way, ah no its not totally wrong I just like a fans who want to meet her idol. So when I wake up in the morning or afternoon, or before to sleep, I just keep to imagine her and hear her song. That I what I do in this week. I surrounding my self into high dream, and I can’t move to left that thought. I lost my self. If people see me they will think I am fine and a good girl and there is no something wrong or happen to me, but if they know that I’m now is just a girl who lost her mind.